21st Century Boy

I want to write a post about trying to find a man in 2014. I want it to be witty and sweet, with a sexual undertone you might not pick up on. I want to write the impossible post. Here goes...

Since becoming single earlier in the year I've really enjoyed my new-found freedom; I spend weeknights at the gym, and weekends exploring. I eat what I want, watch what I want, wear what I want, say whatever the fuck I want, and I don't answer to anybody. It's pretty perfect. Well, with one exception, I'm so lonely. Sad, I know, but when your entire world was another person for the last 6 years, when the world falls down, you are left out on your own.

I miss intelligent late night conversation, I miss eating junk food and watching DVDs on Sunday afternoons, and I miss the constant touch of another soul - the physical and the emotional. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT looking for a boyfriend. The next time I have one of those I want him to be the last one, the one who stays forever. What I do want is a man who shares similar interests to me, who enjoys my company and who isn't going to take our relationship too seriously, to spend time with.

I recently asked a guy out to watch an All Blacks game at a bar, have a few drinks etc. This guy seemed perfect to fulfill my required needs, he is smart and very easy on the eye, and seemed pretty straight up. But soon after he agreed to come out with me, his 'yes' turned into a 'sorry...' and I was once again sitting at home on a Saturday night all dressed up with nowhere to go.

What I want to know, since it has been years since I was last in this position, what does man in 2014 want from his lady? Because I sure as hell can't figure it out. I have never, yep never, been asked out. I have always been the ask-er. That fact doesn't bother me, but what does, is what happens after I've done the asking. I thought the fact that I have asked alerted you to my interest in you... Shouldn't it? I put myself out there, risk major embarrassment, and you may or may not say yes. But then you get all weird. Either (in the case of the ex) you overload me with bravado and ego (which I fell for because I was young and not as wise as I am now), or in the case of the example above, you go into some kind of lock down, where you are so hard to read my eyes begin to water.

If I was a patient person I would wait around to be asked out, like a proper lady. But I'm not patient, and there are some things that if you wait too long, begin to wilt and die. For example, my sex drive. It is dying. So what am I supposed to do? Do I ask this guy out again and hope that his previous excuses were genuine? Or move on and ask someone else, who isn't quite as smart or as easy on the eye? Or do I just stop asking, and hope that one day someone will come along and do the hard part for me?

A post that ends in a question can't be a good thing, so I will finish with one last paragraph. If we're in it for the same reasons, we can have so much fun. We could have something wonderful. Why not give it a go. With me,

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