My Problem With Porn

The title might suggest I'm addicted to pornography, but what I'm actually getting at is that I hate the stuff. My problem with porn begins with how it makes men think, and ends with how I feel.

I'm so sick of meeting men who've been bought up by, and learnt about sex, by watching porn. As a result they have grown to expect the real women they meet to act a certain way in the bedroom, to perform certain acts, and the one that hurts women the most, the lack of emotion they show towards us when it comes to having sex. Gone are the days of 'making love' to someone that you care deeply for, we are living in the age of the Fuckboy. For those happily married or too busy having lives to have heard the term before, the Urban Dictionary defines a Fuckboy as "A manipulating dick who does whatever it takes to benefit him, regardless of who he screws over. They will screw over anyone and everyone as long they get what they want". For the Fuckboy, the idea of love is laughable, but women still believe, herein lies the problem. We are on totally different pages. The thing about porn is that it is not designed for women, it is wholly serving men. Men are dominant and women submissive. The woman is tied up, or she is the one being pinned down. I once slept with a man who got-off on seeing me uncomfortable or in pain during sex, it made him laugh... He also had to masturbate multiple times a day, and was, surprise surprise, a porn addict. Also turns out he wasn't a very nice human being, not sure if this was always the case or a result of the addiction...

I still believe (old fashioned as it may sound), that love, and making love, go hand-in-hand. I couldn't sleep with just anyone, I have to care for that person, and want to connect on another level, it's not about me either, it's about the two of us and what we can share, not what they can give. The best sex of my life was with the person that I loved, and who loved me back. If only these men could experience what I felt then, there is no ego, no outside influence, just you and that other person in a crazy wonderful place. Sex with a stranger could never compare.

I work in a male dominated work place, and it isn't uncommon to walk in on a conversation about sex, to hear a derogatory comment, or to even see guys looking at naked women on their phones. It makes me sick and I wish it didn't have to be like it. The ease of access to pornographic material means men all around the world can be sharing and influencing colleagues, friends or family at the touch of a button. Thanks to social media, and Apps like Tinder, I feel the objectification of women is the worst it has ever been. It seems us real women no longer get a look in with guys because we don't have massive breasts or asses, don't take hours getting ready to leave the house or spend ridiculous amounts of money on cosmetics, clothing and grooming. I know I've spent far too much time trying to be somebody that i'm not to win men over, and it's not healthy - I'm done with it. Personally I find intelligence to be the determining factor in finding a mate, but apparently I'm alone in this. Life isn't photo-shopped, real women have curves and imperfections, cellulite and wrinkles, and we are not porn stars. We are smart, and we want our men to care about us.