So, I turned 30!
I thought i'd better write a new post seeing as it has been so long since i'd put pen to paper to write about me and what's been going on in my life. It doesn't seem like much really, but then I started plotting when I was in the shower the other night, and come to think of it there kinda is.
So, I turned 30! I don't know if it's grammatically correct to to start a sentence with 'So', but I thought i'd jump straight to the point. I turned 30 in June and I don't know about you, but for me, there really seemed to be some kind of energy shift when I hit the milestone. I instantly felt wiser. Well I started saying some grown up shit to people anyway. I felt like a legitimate adult - like being 29 and owning a home and having a career didn't count - but being 30 did. Like I said before, I didn't think much had been happening in my life, but when I think about it, this year has been really big emotionally, if nothing else.
I haven't told more than a handful of people, but my parents separated for a time and then rekindled their marriage, and this beat me up pretty bad at the time. I blamed me. I got very sad. and I still don't know what to say about the whole thing. I've written down my thoughts and I read them over every now and then. It made me question all of my relationships and how I treat the people in my life - we never think about how we can hurt those around us without knowing that we have. It was a big journey.
I've also changed jobs, i'm still working at the port, but my role has evolved into something bigger and more diverse than before and that has bought some awesome learnings and big challenges. Take today for example. Today marks over 3 months since I began training my replacement. And I still feel like I haven't finished my job. When I learnt the role back in 2015, admittedly things have changed somewhat, I picked up the the role pretty quickly, and after less than 2 months was able to work unattended in the busy morning spells. I now doubt my abilities as a teacher, because I have yet to spend a full day in my new job uninterrupted. And as I write this I am really, really tired. Am I just being selfish in looking at it that way? Am I just overthinking things like I’m know for?
My new role includes an IT/Systems angle and being such a process oriented person I love this work. If only I could get stuck into a real project... I can’t wait to get on the road visiting shippers and carriers, and the people I speak to on the phone every day but I’ve never met. And as my job changes so has my partner Grant's. He now works evenings two weeks out of four and it's taking a bit to get used to. We work together, and it's so odd not seeing him at home for dinner. It's so quiet. It's so strange to miss him so much. I guess i'm learning how much of a huge part of my world he has become - not that I didn't know, I just didn't appreciate it. Some days we can give each other hell, but he's the only one I want to talk to, to hug, to hold. Who knew I could love someone so much who isn't perfect, but know he is perfect for me.
The best part of having space and time alone is that i'm able to work on myself. Like writing this blog, and going to the gym those extra couple of times a month. Or having dinner with my parents like I will tonight. Grant and I are both looking forward to October when we are to set off on our first overseas adventure together. What started as a dream to spend some time on an island relaxing has quickly developed into a 5 week adventure to Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand, with a short stop in Malaysia for good measure. You can't wipe the smile of our faces, it is going to be amazing. Remind me to share some travel tips and photos on my return! I wouldn't be going anywhere if it weren't for Grant - once again he's my knight in shining armor! He's my forever guy and he has got to be the greatest thing to happen in the last year. Along with his Labrador Crash, we've built a pretty strong team, and I can't wait to see what we can achieve next.
For me personally, I want the next phase to be about learning as much as I can, about building strength, mostly physically at the gym - I would love to be able to master pull ups, they’re the one thing I have not improved on since I began training at Whakatu HQ, to focus less on the things I cannot change, and moving through the rest of the year happy.
I digress a little here, but does anyone else watching Jane Yee on TV late at night in the early 2000s (well I was young, it might not have been that late)? She was a music presenter and somehow (many moons later) I find myself following her on Instagram and am addicted to her videos. The funny thing is that her videos are just her and her family going about their daily lives, but I can't get enough. They're everyday happenings of a real Kiwi household, but told with Jane's positive and bubbly way. Boy have I learnt a bunch about raising a family, about running a busy home, and how to make the perfect bread roll from her. I was just like her Maisie as a child - and now I can imagine how my own mum must have felt that time I cut my hair off... I cannot stand celebrity accounts so this is as close as I will get. I have to get my dose of Jane's reality show everyday. I guess the topic of having my own babies will have to be a post on it's own in the near future.
I didn't think much had happened lately but when I started writing, some very important things had. It's not always about things you see, or take photos of that have the biggest impact. I know I'm a different person to who I was before, even if it's just a little. It's good to take stock of your growth. Not to mention seeing those around you achieve their dreams!
So, I turned 30! I don't know if it's grammatically correct to to start a sentence with 'So', but I thought i'd jump straight to the point. I turned 30 in June and I don't know about you, but for me, there really seemed to be some kind of energy shift when I hit the milestone. I instantly felt wiser. Well I started saying some grown up shit to people anyway. I felt like a legitimate adult - like being 29 and owning a home and having a career didn't count - but being 30 did. Like I said before, I didn't think much had been happening in my life, but when I think about it, this year has been really big emotionally, if nothing else.
I haven't told more than a handful of people, but my parents separated for a time and then rekindled their marriage, and this beat me up pretty bad at the time. I blamed me. I got very sad. and I still don't know what to say about the whole thing. I've written down my thoughts and I read them over every now and then. It made me question all of my relationships and how I treat the people in my life - we never think about how we can hurt those around us without knowing that we have. It was a big journey.
I've also changed jobs, i'm still working at the port, but my role has evolved into something bigger and more diverse than before and that has bought some awesome learnings and big challenges. Take today for example. Today marks over 3 months since I began training my replacement. And I still feel like I haven't finished my job. When I learnt the role back in 2015, admittedly things have changed somewhat, I picked up the the role pretty quickly, and after less than 2 months was able to work unattended in the busy morning spells. I now doubt my abilities as a teacher, because I have yet to spend a full day in my new job uninterrupted. And as I write this I am really, really tired. Am I just being selfish in looking at it that way? Am I just overthinking things like I’m know for?
My new role includes an IT/Systems angle and being such a process oriented person I love this work. If only I could get stuck into a real project... I can’t wait to get on the road visiting shippers and carriers, and the people I speak to on the phone every day but I’ve never met. And as my job changes so has my partner Grant's. He now works evenings two weeks out of four and it's taking a bit to get used to. We work together, and it's so odd not seeing him at home for dinner. It's so quiet. It's so strange to miss him so much. I guess i'm learning how much of a huge part of my world he has become - not that I didn't know, I just didn't appreciate it. Some days we can give each other hell, but he's the only one I want to talk to, to hug, to hold. Who knew I could love someone so much who isn't perfect, but know he is perfect for me.
The best part of having space and time alone is that i'm able to work on myself. Like writing this blog, and going to the gym those extra couple of times a month. Or having dinner with my parents like I will tonight. Grant and I are both looking forward to October when we are to set off on our first overseas adventure together. What started as a dream to spend some time on an island relaxing has quickly developed into a 5 week adventure to Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand, with a short stop in Malaysia for good measure. You can't wipe the smile of our faces, it is going to be amazing. Remind me to share some travel tips and photos on my return! I wouldn't be going anywhere if it weren't for Grant - once again he's my knight in shining armor! He's my forever guy and he has got to be the greatest thing to happen in the last year. Along with his Labrador Crash, we've built a pretty strong team, and I can't wait to see what we can achieve next.
For me personally, I want the next phase to be about learning as much as I can, about building strength, mostly physically at the gym - I would love to be able to master pull ups, they’re the one thing I have not improved on since I began training at Whakatu HQ, to focus less on the things I cannot change, and moving through the rest of the year happy.
I digress a little here, but does anyone else watching Jane Yee on TV late at night in the early 2000s (well I was young, it might not have been that late)? She was a music presenter and somehow (many moons later) I find myself following her on Instagram and am addicted to her videos. The funny thing is that her videos are just her and her family going about their daily lives, but I can't get enough. They're everyday happenings of a real Kiwi household, but told with Jane's positive and bubbly way. Boy have I learnt a bunch about raising a family, about running a busy home, and how to make the perfect bread roll from her. I was just like her Maisie as a child - and now I can imagine how my own mum must have felt that time I cut my hair off... I cannot stand celebrity accounts so this is as close as I will get. I have to get my dose of Jane's reality show everyday. I guess the topic of having my own babies will have to be a post on it's own in the near future.
I didn't think much had happened lately but when I started writing, some very important things had. It's not always about things you see, or take photos of that have the biggest impact. I know I'm a different person to who I was before, even if it's just a little. It's good to take stock of your growth. Not to mention seeing those around you achieve their dreams!
Love this Stacey and totally resonates with me at the moment. Feels like groundhog day sometimes but it's so important to reflect and celebrate the small and big wins.
ReplyDelete